gaia beats/bits III-i /doves and an aged hammock



Drift wood, drift plastic, multi-channel sound (6.4), analogue motor, hydraulic system, nets, plant fibres, mycellium, other.

Installation view at “Tidalectics”, TBA21 Thyssen-Bornemisza Art Contemporary, Vienna, June 2 — November 19, 2017.

Courtesy Em’kal Eyongakpa, KHaLISHRINE, TBA21

for video documentation, (click on )

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many thanks dear itinerant friends who let I & I record their personal …those who sent objects, Larebi, Sami, Forian of Gelitin and his wonderful kids, Gelalin collective,TBA team, and  the studio/

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How to love someone in depression     Her heart is getting colder. It needs your warmth. Don't ask her if she needs you, she will say "no" in a brittle voice.     Take a cab as soon as you realize she's about to loose all confidence in her self. Don't walk out of your apartment, RUN as fast as you can because it takes a second for the sky to fall on someone's head, it takes a second for someone to die inside.     When you're in front of her house, fight the sadness in your eyes, don't even try to have pity she doesn't need it. She will open her door and fall apart. Oh! She might as well wait for you to enter, ask you if you need something to drink and maintain the tears inside until your cup is half finished but still, she will fall apart. It depends on how long her heart has been left in such a cold mood.      When she starts crying, take her in your arms, hold her strong because her knees are going to be far too weak to stand without falling. Don't speak, don't promise her anything because she'll think you're doing it out of pity. If she didn't take her bath yet, take her to the bathroom, get her clean, put her a clean pyjamas and enter under the blanket with her.      She might give you her back, hold her tight from there and let her feel your heart beating, it will assure her she's still alive. Caress her hair and give her a kiss, anywhere on her face. Be kind to her because she needs it. If she turns and look into your eyes, I hope she will see all the love you carry for her and realize she's worth loving and go to sleep free from her fears not all but at least the worst who is not being enough for your love.     I hope she will wake up with a little smile on her face. All her fears will not wipe off at once but don't abandon her. Her heart will get better, she'll get better if and only if you stay next to her.     She'll get better but love her tenderly, love her patiently.   

how was your weekend?

A walk with my camera


Was it a happy wash day?


Or did you go bird watching?


Or maybe spent it with your very best friend?


Or did you have some bonding time with dad at the movies?

Whatever it is, I hope you enjoyed it very much.  As for me, it’s breakfast at the local fastfood joint with the family, and no, I don’t interrupt the moment by taking selfies. Maybe somebody can take candid shots instead.

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Your pictures and the words are both lovely.

A walk with my camera

It just doesn’t feel like a weekend is complete without a photo walk but there are times when we can’t do anything about it.  One day is just not enough to do everything I want to do, especially when it involves hitting the snooze button a hundred times before getting out of bed and catching an afternoon flight.  There will be other days, so says a dear aunt of mine.

Thanks to social media, I’ve been able to make friends with people whom I haven’t met yet and this is our first meeting in person.  The best part is this being a photo walk in Navotas.


We arrived late in the afternoon just as the day shift was about to end.  No unwanted medical emergencies today besides the medicine cabinet suffering from a loose vowel.


The little girl didn’t want to be framed, so she slunk further back into the seat where she got caught between a truck and an SD card…

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Love & patience

“Another night spent alone because he is with his friends drinking to death.

Count me out of this relationship. 
Count me out of his shitty existence.”
This should be the millionth time I say this.
But you will call me, telling me how apologetic you are for leaving me alone. In your voice, I will determine on a scale of 1 to 10 how crapulous you are.  
You will not handle to form an intact sentence. 
You lose the words from time to time, or perhaps the memory. 
You take your time and reflect before placing a word but it does not change anything.
You’re surely at 9 on that scale.
I will not hang up the phone because if you’re calling it means you require me.
I’m used to take care of you, it’s almost an SLR.
I will linger and hear all what you have to say.
At some point you will say “I love you baby” and it will split my heart because you’ll never tell me that if you’re dispassionate.
You will hang up the phone and I’ll tarry there.
I’ll lay on the floor, sobbing while looking at the ceiling. 
I will make some scenes in my head, I will condemn myself for picking your call.
My phone will ring and it will be you, again, I will not hesitate to answer.
You will inquire me to come out, I will consent as accustomed. 
You will look at me with those I’m-so-sad-I-hurt-you-again type of eyes, I will swaddle you in my arms and I will fail to remember my ache. 
I will take you out of the car into the house. 
I will ease you take a bath and put you in our bed
I will kiss your forehead and set my skull on you chest.  
I know this because it’s been years we shared this drama thing. 
Everyday the identical story, the exact  pain, the same words.
Maybe you’re not getting worn out but I am. 
I’m not leaving you, not because I can’t but because you need me as much as I need you. 
You can’t breath without me. 
My kinsfolk asked me to run, but there is no place I know better than your arms. 
Nothing makes me feel more lively than this melancholy gratification.
I love this torture, that’s why I’m here. 
Charles Bukowski said “Find what you love and let it kill you” I found you. 
After 7 years, the end of the story changed.
This time when I came out, he didn’t even looked like someone who took a sip of alcohol.
To my surprise he was sober and he said “I love you” he was on one knee and handed me a ring… 
It took love and patience to hear these words while sober. 

6 years

I could make 6 years again keeping this filthy stance. 

I could add 6 to the 2 years of affliction I had.
Being the one on whom every muddy moods fall on.
Being the one who is supposed to take insults for granted.
Being the one who is expected to smile for you pleasure.
Of course I can be the lass who has to give her frail body when you’re in need.
I can be that girl who wants to see you but never has what she wants cause she ain’t “Your girl”, so she has to wait until you will feel like seing her.
During 6 eventual years I can still be “yours” though I know you have her and you may never leave her.
I mean I would still be here craving desperately you leave her for me.
I would be here loving you.
I can keep pretending.
Keep pretending it doesn’t kill me when she’s your profile picture.
Keep pretending to our comrades it’s okay, that I understand you can’t leave her.
Keep pretending your songs directed to her are engaging, while I cry on them.
Yes! For 6 years it can pursue.
For 6 other years I can take people’s judgements for granted cause you said it’s between us both and no one else.
I will eventually avoid all arguments on girls-like-me.
I’ll be sturdy enough to ignore the dishonor.
I can pretend 6 further years that there’s not a part of me that despises you.
I can keep the need I have to say “I Love you” cause I know you won’t say it back.
It’s okay. I can keep those I-Love-you’s for me.
Please baby tell me this profess will end  because I’m feeling weaker and sadder day by day.
But I’ll wait 6 more years. Yes! 6 years if you don’t leave me within.

Similar differences.

I was thinking about all this racism thing;

Prejudice and social discrimination based on social perception of biological differences between people

and it’s really frustrating that nowadays people still have that judgments on skins.

I mean, It’s more than primitive to abandon the personality and base yourself only on physical appearance.

We fall in love with physical first that’s something sure but then comes the inside.

The heart doesn’t change according to the skin.

If I have to fall for someone I will not think about you being black or you being white

I don’t care about that.

I’ll take into consideration your attitude, you’re behavior instead.

If my heart beats it beats because you’re a beautiful person.

It also happens in families, “I don’t want you to date her because she’s white”

“You can’t have my blessings if you marry a black man”

NO! This shouldn’t be their reasoning. It’s too low.

Nobody is born a racist, is something you learn.

It should be an education talk instead, not skin!

The heart wants what it wants and that’s how it has always been.

If being in a relationship with someone of different skin disturbs the people around me

it means they are the ones having issues.

Our ancestors had little or no knowledge which we can rely on to explain their “Racism act.

But In 2015? The education level should is way too high for this kind of perception.

What is the problem with skin?

Black skin people get to be educated as well as white people does.

I hate silly comments on black people. It really gets me out of my mind.

We are all different and there is no need bullying people on their differences.

This goes with all type of racism not only racial.

It’s really difficult to see a black skin human hating on white skin human, showing that they understood things faster than the white did.

They don’t care, it’s just a detail which shouldn’t be taken into consideration because it is of no help.

What a white man can do a black man also do and vice-versa. It’s really sad to see that people are unemployed because of their skin.

It brings about inequality which is an ill mostly towards the black skin society.

We are all different in similar ways.

Education is the cure to all these ills.

People should be able to see above biological composition.


It’s Sunday and I’m feeling lazy
I got nobody to talk to so I’m typing on my computer to explain how I feel
There is actually nobody that care about that but my ink do care.
I wanna lie in bed all night long and do that the next day (Monday).
Nothing motivates me to get up? Even biological needs.
Maybe should I sleep? Definitely but I’ll have nightmares.
That’s what happen every time I sleep now.
I feel empty, so empty, like I have an organ that’s missing.
I wanna cry but crying for nothing doesn’t make sense. Does it?
I’m containing myself until something will affect me, by then I’ll shade tears.
It’s Sunday and on Sundays I feel emptied.

Love Fights your fears

You would be staying up all night thinking about his/her face,

the way he/she touches you,

how crazy in love you guys are,

the way he/she looks at you,

and for some hours you’ll feel happy.

Until you start overthinking it.

Now you would be thinking about him/her leaving you,

because that’s what life thought you.

Life thought that people always leave.

And It thought you everything comes to an end.

You’ll get scared by all these.

But when the light of the sun will come to rise,

when you’ll feel your heart beating by the sight of your love,

when you’ll feel his/her lips  graze yours,

all your fears will be forgotten.

That’s what love does, it fights your fears.